Never Far from Home by Bruce Jackson

Book Discussion of Never Far from Home Feb. 10, 2024

 

Fifteen of us met on Saturday Feb. 10th for our first book discussion of the year. We talked about Never Far from Home: My Journey from Brooklyn to Hip Hop, and the Law by Bruce Jackson. Bruce Jackson is a managing attorney at Microsoft. His story began in Brooklyn, then to the Amsterdam Housing Projects in Manhattan, and on to Georgetown Law School. He worked a while in entertainment law, and after music began to be delivered over a digital platform, Jackson decided he needed to learn all he could about the digital world, a decision that led him to Microsoft.

 Barb M. Started off our talk by saying, “He started getting all these epiphanies. The thing I felt most threatened by, yet impressed by, while reading this, is that he was just a hair away from being a tragedy, and I think that's a common story and not an unusual story. 

 Barb L. reminded us of how he hid his musical theater activities from his street friends, that at times he had to live a double life. He succeeded in work, but he had a hard time in marriage. “I can’t agree with the stance he took in his custody case, claiming that he made the money so I should be able to give his children them a better home.”

 Robin added, “I was glad to read his story, although I struggled with some of his personal life choices. He’s very clear about his choices. Early in the book, he says his first girlfriend tried to sue him for paternity for a child that wasn’t his. But he said he reared this child like she belonged to him, yet she wasn’t included in the dedication. 

 Meghan commented, “I had to check myself several times, reminding myself to stop being judgmental. I had to remember that people come from different places. People have a different definition of what family is and what it looks like.” 

 Bonnie wasn’t impressed with his story, telling us, “I viewed him as a vulture capitalist, narcissist, and male chauvinist. Microsoft is not a good company. Microsoft was sued by the federal government for monopolistic things they did which put small businesses out of business. The guy was only set on getting wealthy. Bonnie also reminded us of how n he took exception to the Jewish lawyer who said, “you must know about the ghetto,” and he replied, on p. 138 “With all due respect sir, you don’t even know me…You don’t even know my name. You don’t know where I’m from or anything about me. What do you mean, I should know about the ghetto? In fact, I don’t know anything about the ghetto. What do you know, sir?” 

 Janice chimed in here, saying, “I think that was a microaggression. I’m leaning a little left on this. I was just disappointed in him. He was able to code-switch. After going through everything that he had been through he could not translate any of that code-switching energy in dealing with his family. The fact that he could respond to that senior lawyer about the ghetto the way he did but still end up getting a job offer from that same lawyer yet couldn’t translate that to his relationships with his partners or his children. The most disappointing of all is why did he wait so long to move his mother out of the projects?” 

 Wendy confessed that, “I’m wondering if I would have had a different reaction if I hadn’t heard all of the comments here. I had more sympathy for him. He had to toggle between worlds from the beginning…there was a point when someone was shot in front of the house. He also found people in each of the places he went who gave good advice and support. He had worked at Chase Bank. I didn’t understand him constantly moving back home. The thing about ‘I’m the breadwinner,’ did become true and he did actually look after the girls on his own for a while. I was also struck by him later admitting that the judge made the right call in giving the girls back to their mom.

 Shelara went further, saying, “My takeaway is that he fell into the trap most people fall into: ‘capitalism will save you.’ He has a messy life. He’s able to, like many other people, keep his professional life pristine, but I’d like to read the books that each of his children’s mothers would write. I think there was some overlap in some places in the relationships. His kids were born very close together. The system is dirty and he’s in it. Individuals cannot beat institutions; trying to keep playing this game in this country is a losing battle. You don’t beat the institutions. You’re not going to come in with your Black excellence and cure racism and make things diverse and equitable. It’s not set up that way. He should keep striving; you don’t beat the system, you become part of it. He’s smart enough to know all this, so he keeps going back home, he can fool himself into thinking he’s not that corporate guy.”

 Barb M. followed that with, “He learned how to swim with the sharks.”

 Nancy offered, “The part that touched me the most was his relationship with his grandmother. And the whole part about her death and the funeral and him saying goodbye. Okay so this a man who, against incredible odds, has achieved a lot. Whether we admire what he achieved or not. Does that have to mean that he’s some kind of hero or perfect person? No. I think part of what we’re all grappling with is that he doesn’t have to be a heroic figure.” 

 Kay spoke up then, giving us, “For me this was a geographical experience because I was born and raised in New York City and so when he was on the subway, I was on the subway. He took advantage of the opportunities that other students didn’t. Had he not taken advantage of that NOAH (New Opportunities at Hofstra) program, he might have been in a different place. And there should be an ‘Aunt Viola’ in every family. Any young person reading this would be inspired, they would have an example of hard work. When he was in school, he didn’t fool around but he applied himself, and because he applied himself, he was given opportunities. I like the fact that he stayed friends with people he met early on. As smart as was, to go into the projects, dressed as he was, walking down the stairs, knowing that there were people dealing drugs on the stairs, it just seemed like his smarts just went out the window. You just don’t do that.” 

                                            

 Laura said the most profound thing stated during our entire meeting. She said, “Seeing the childhood photo on the front, we should remember that he was ten years old when he got chased by the police in the subway. When we’re hurt when we’re little, it stays with us. He was trying to prevent his children from having to go through what he went through. There’s a special desperation to fix the thing for your kids that had impacted you the most. She called our attention to p. 196: “…I had grown up without a father…” p.197:

“My children would never have to wonder whether the rent would be paid. They would not have to accept public assistance. They could count on their dad. No matter what, I would never abandon them.”

 Bonnie disliked the paragraph on p. 246: “So many people, all in their own little bubbles. I wonder if they see me. I wonder if they notice, and if they do, what do they think? A fiftysomething- year-old Black man walking out of an office building in Times Square, wearing sneakers, jeans, and a polo shirt pushing the envelope on ‘business casual.’ Would they think he was a lead counsel at Microsoft? Or would they think he worked in the mailroom?”

 Wendy said, “There have been so many opportunities that are not available if you’ve grown up Black and from the projects in New York so for him the issue is how he is judged all the time. Robin added that she thinks he's commenting on the way that he is perceived. The presumption is that he works in the mail room.

 Barb M attributed this to the caste/class system in this country. 

 Shelara corrected these comments, adding, “Yes, we have caste but, in this country, we also have race. In his eyes, he’s thinking that as a Black man in this attire, for a poor kid from the projects...the experience of a person can hinge on the armor that you put on in a situation, I’m going to be viewed and considered to be in a certain stratosphere, I’m going to navigate or head off any kind of disrespect I might experience. These are the things people must think about. Sometimes you get to the point where you don’t care, you might think I’m going to go out and be comfortable but that comes with a price. He comes from the projects. He’s been arrested three times for nonsense. So of course he’s thinking, ‘when they look at me what do they see? They’re not seeing a guy that’s part of a billion-dollar corporation, they’re seeing the guy from the mailroom.’” 

 Karen told us that she couldn’t get a copy of the book, so she listened to the audiobook. “I don’t know if I would have had a different experience if I had read the printed the book. I don’t know if I would have picked up this book. I read something I would have never read. This is the beauty of book clubs. He did an entire chapter about his father and that was the one person he did an entire chapter about, the father’s whole history and background then he chose to end the book talking to his dad again.…He mentioned that incident from when he was ten years old multiple times throughout the book, an obvious life-changing experience that stayed with him. I feel like that was something he went back to a lot, and it stayed in his mind.